Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
