your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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