Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
