cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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