I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
