i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
