I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
