did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
