I wannas sexs uuuuu
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize