dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Too much gin, very little bucket
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
