i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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