Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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