I forgot how hot balto sounded
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
