i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I need to calm my uterus...
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