dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize