Ambien. No doubt about it.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
