did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize