Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
