I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
