I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize