put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
