I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
