On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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