I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
