I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
