Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
