She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
