wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
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