I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize