do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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