Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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