woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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