The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
