I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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