HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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