can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
