She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
