How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
did i just pee glitter
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
