i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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