I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Randomize
