i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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