I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
