She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm too high and old for this...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
