Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
