how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
They are going to name an STD after you.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
