Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
