If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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