worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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