he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
