i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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