i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
