I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
