So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
