Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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