all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
