Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
sex in a hospital.. check
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
