Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize