I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
