HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
