I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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