I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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